Seriously, I implore everyone to take a stand against this very serious problem... *deep breath*
Internet daters....
For the love of GOD - stop exploiting your fucking angles. I hate all of you, deceivers... I don't even know why I'm even half way surprised right now...
Now, there was one adventure about a year ago involving the now notorious velcro sandals guy that has probably set the precedent for why this issue enrages me so deeply..
I can't change that I have realistic fucking expectations from these FUCKERS.
If that sounds angry and jaded to you... it very MUCH IS.
I have this really sad heart condition where my heart is going to fail if I'm still single by the time I'm 30. Don't fucking laugh, some women have been able to find a cure, but I said "phuck that" when I found out the cure was a permanently lonely existence with nothing but 50+ cats for company.
Anyways, ugly people, I have but one message for you: STOP EXPLOITING YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ANGLES! Attractive people: stop falling for it.
I know all of this may seem... shallow to the average asshole reading this, but I assure you there is nothing shallow about the desire of wanting to like looking at someone's face. If I wanna claw my eyes out whilst staring dreamily into your eye's... problems I foresee....
But what pisses me off about ugly people knowing they're ugly... is how they try to bait you with their falsity!!! It's almost as aggravating as pretty people knowing they're pretty but then telling everyone how they think they're ugly just to phish around for compliments... No, that's actually pretty goddamn annoying. Pretty people... you are aware of your looks, so shut the fuck up, look in the mirror and tell yourself how fucking pretty you think you are and move on with your day. People don't need to spend every fucking seconds of their lives validating your self esteem. Now that I've bitched out the pretty people too, ugly people can take a back fucking seat and think about what I'm about to spew their direction.
There is someone for everyone, with that in mind, wouldn't you much rather be honest with someone if you want to even attempt dating them? I'm mean, honesty isn't exactly a commonly practiced policy amongst men folk, sometimes women, but mostly you men folk, but holy shit if the beginning starts out with lying about how attractive you really are... then that relationship is doomed for fucking travesty.
Some of you don't even know what 'exploiting angles' really means. Chicks usually find their 'angle' when trying to hide a zit or played "Who Can Take the Best Bathroom Pic for Myspace This Week" in High School. I'm not sure how guys find theirs... but they do! and they exploit them, which is all that matters.
You've met this person... you've worked with them or went to school with them or even walked by them at a park. They are that person that you wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to, because let's face it, no one should judge thy neighbor and blah blah blah. But I mean, this person is FUNNY looking - but not in the immediate outward way, but in the way that you just can't quite figure out why they are so fucking funny looking. Then you stumble across their CrapBook picture and shit a fucking brick. That person is GORGEOUS, they have glitter exploding next to their radiant faces, birds are laying a carefully crafted headband of flowers onto their stupid head, and you're not sure.. but you're PRETTY sure that Jesus himself moved those rain clouds to shine some holy fucking light on this prick for the sake of one photo. So you murderously stalk the ever loving shit out of them on CrapBook...
UNTIL...
You start to notice that this fucker has a bunch of photos all suspiciously taken from the same angle... So you arrange a chance encounter with this ass hat only to discover that they really are just as goddamn funny looking as you remember seeing them, and go back to digesting them with your eyes whilst still trying to maintain friendly conversation.
This kind of fucking trickery should not be allowed to dirty the world of dating. Dating is already riddled with bullshit, the exaggeration of looks on top of how disappointing you are personality wise can fuck a person up. Like me. I fucking hate dating and half the reason is because people are fucking liars and know they suck deep down so they glamour themselves up... until you're standing on their porch and they are wearing socks with velcro sandals or have the absence of a chin... I KNEW those pictures with the hand over the chin shit was a goddamn farce...
And so... I abandon internet dating altogether. I can't take it anymore I tells ya. Not only am I tired of bullshit from people in general, but damn, if people can't even be honest about their fucking looks, then I really have no hope for dating on the internets. Looks can really only be exaggerated for soooo long before the calamity is discovered. Eventually looks do go away and you're left with the individual at their core. I have a firm belief and have always had this belief that you still need to be attracted to the person in some capacity.
So there it is... I fucking quit. Also, I need a job.
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