Learn Fucking English And/Or Stop Being a Nuisance

***This applies to individuals residing in the United States. It applies to all races, though Hispanic is most notable in the states simply because.... that's how the cookie fucking crumbles.***


But no, seriously, learn fucking English. LEARN IT, LOVE IT, LIVE IT, EAT IT... You are in an English speaking country where we stupid fuck Americans speak goddamn English. You do have the occasional overachiever who has obtained demi-godism who knows more than one language. But the common language consensus in middle class America... is English.

YOU MOVED HERE, NO? You wanted to be here, yes? This country obviously holds some mythical appeal that you carted your ass over either an ocean or a fucking wall to be here. So when you get here it's ok to not finish out your ambition? That's half assing immigration.

Why is this such a big deal?

-Because when I'm getting eyeball fucked by an older male hispanic I don't appreciate them degrading me in their native language. Nor do I fucking get impressed when they try to pick me up without knowing a shred of fucking English. You think Ima learn Spanish just so some fucking grease ball jackass can hit on me? You're hilarious if you think I will.

-Because when I'm paying you to do my fucking nails, I don't like you making fun of me to your little cohort next to you and then snickering like a bitch afterwards; knowing FULL goddamn well I have no idea what the fuck you just said about me in your rapid speak language.

-Because when one of my dumbass friends makes a comment about you being a secret terrorist and you look at me with those eyes and talk in hush hush in your native language to someone about how you probably want to knife the white devil... no goddamn wonder the stereotype is there asshole, you help fuel it.

NOW, I am not racist. I really do hate everyone the same, including dipshit white people. The only ethnicity I have no complaints about are Native Americans. Because, let's face it, they are the fucking shit. They have old magic in their blood, they resided on the soil before us, they totally coin gambling and peyote as their work of art, and they know what the fuck is up.

I sit on both sides of the spectrum, Americans, if you moved elsewhere learn the fucking language. No one likes an asshole who assumes the country caters to them... Oh but wait, America DOES cater to everyone else...

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION?! Fuck you... please educate your own and help your goddamn own before you enroll fucking ethnicities based on the SIMPLE fact that you need numbers? They don't even have to be intelligent to make it, just not fucking white. Affirmative Action really a load of fucking shit; a big fat steaming pile of smelly hershey squirts!!!

I'm tired of Americans, period. ALL AMERICANS... that means you, you fucking illegal who can't speak English for shit and still somehow manage NOT to learn the language because everyone else is willing to change things from English to Spanish for you.. like spoon feeding you like an infant...

That means YOU, welfare mom not trying to get a fucking job. Who lives with her father and sleeps on the couch while her 3 kids sleep on fucking mattresses on the floor with a hole in the ceiling where stairs used to be. How can you let your kids suffer like that while your welfare money goes into your partying? WHY DOES THE SYSTEM REWARD THIS MOM??? Offered a goddamn job paying $27/hr and you turn it down because "I wouldn't make as much as I make now..." DOING FUCKING NOTHING OTHER THAN BEING A USELESS WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE YOU DUMB BITCH!! Get off the system, get off your fucking ass, and go contribute to society. Otherwise, stop breathing my oxygen. OR get hit by a truck, that's my preference for you. Then you become disabled and have a fucking reason to be a leech in which case I'll sneak into your room and your ventilator will mysteriously suffer a technological malfunction... scary thought I know, but if you were a standup individual you wouldn't have to worry about it.

That means you, unemployment warrior making more money than working Americans making $900 on tax returns when I worked all last year and got a whole $72. I'm not shitting you. Plus I get sodomized on taxes every paycheck. Nice to see it PAYS TO WORK credit was utilized. I was on unemployment for two months last year and they take ALL OF MY TAX MONEY?! But someone who has been on unemployment for 1 1/2 years can get an entire $900 dollars... YEA, THAT DIDN'T PISS ME OFF OR ANYTHING. Welfare mom and unemployment warriors are specific examples from people I know personally beeteedub...

I can't even say it enough how much the aliens need to come down here and regulate this shit. Beam me up Scotty... please? One day.. my prayers are going to be answered... And I'm probably going to have an accident in my pants from disbelief.