Thursday, June 14, 2012

Now That We've Been Properly Introduced...

Time to bitch at you for a while about how much some people are complete failures. No room for improvement style.

I can't TAKE it anymore!!! I almost want to beg the heaven's to reign down fire or some shit, even if I burn with everyone else, however I'm above that, so yeaaa. But whatever, it needs to be done.

I was going to remove myself from the social disaster that is CrapBook (that's right I'm bringing it back so as to avoid all manners anything stupid that could possibly be claimed or taken out of context from anything I write. Means I plan on getting Jewishly controversial in the future. Not today though. Maybe today, who knows it might just happen. Like with Dhhug. (if you were saying that in your head like I am, you'd feel like you'd need to go take a shower because of how insulting it comes out.))

I almost collapsed my page with that parenthesis inside a parenthesis. Parenthesiception.

I decided not to remove myself from possibly the best source of creative inspiration anybody could ever ask for. Stupid people are already hilarious, mostly because they don't even know they're hilarious, but stupid people that post about their train wreck of a life on Crapbook... are the true bread winners of all that is holy in my world. At first, it pissed me off, rage beast style. But then, I had to take a moment to fucking laugh.



Lesson #1: There is Nothing Wrong With Being 17. There is Something Wrong With Being 17 and Acting 15...

Allow me to elaborate. At 17, most of were rock stupid with rose colored glasses. Maybe we had touched the tip of the iceberg about what life was all about at this point, but most of us were still monkeys in a barrel with no real comprehension. I myself have always been more mature than my peers, I was raised primarily around adults, soaking in everything they said and trying to learn from their awful interesting lives. I succeeded. However, I was even rock stupid at 17. In fact, I would say I remained in the rock stupid phase until I was 22. I can even say and acknowledge all of the mistakes I've made and what dumb shit I believed and how unrealistic life in my world was. Basically, I grew up. Onwards ho!

This girl that I had the privilege of knowing in my teenage life, recently announced her pregnancy to the world via CrapBook. Happy news, right? Wrong. She was still 17 when she made the announcement. And then every fucking post afterwards was all about how she could feel her stomach tightening up and she was sooo sick and she couldn't sleep and everyone was so hard on her and she was gonna be an awesome mother and all the haters better shut their mouths!

She was two weeks pregnant when she started complaining... and going over feeling her belly tighten. Pfffffffft. I didn't feel my stomach get tighter until I was practically six months pregnant. I also don't want to hear, how at 1 1/2 months pregnant, it is so hard to sleep. Sleep is AWESOME in your first months of pregnancy, you don't have body parts poking you in the ribs or bladder yet. I had a terrible case of morning sickness during my pregnancy, sleep was the only reprieve I got from that shit in the mornings. And if you think you have it bad now, you have another thing coming. Just wait until your belly ACTUALLY begins to tighten and you start to feel the baby. Better yet, wait until you're 7 months pregnant and you have a short torso with hardly any room for food because a baby is taking up all the space you have in YOUR BODY? Your back hurts before you're even two months? PSSSSSHHHHHH, wait till you hit 6 months.

I amuse myself.

Know why you can't sleep? Because you're not ready to be a parent. CrapBook is in no way a vehicle in which people should be judged, however when you know some of these people in person, you have that scary realization that they live their life EXACTLY how they portray it to you on CrapBook. And then you go an create a blog about and spin it to your advantage. Everybody wins.

What I've gathered from this person based on what she wants the world to see:

i cant sleep at night  my back hurts so much! ! i love you baby, forever and always **/**/****! ! fuck evryone who thinks i wnt be a good mom! ill be the best mom ever! out of all of the people i know, I'm more ready than most of them ! im so tired of all my familys bullsht, sorry you have money and i dnt, guess ill move out and only have money for my rent and no money for food for my baby, thats fine! ill show you! im so excited for my job interview today, nervous, my tummy hurts, but ill do awesome! ! muaa i love you baby! ! id fallow you anywhere, for ever and always **/**/***! ! <3

Did your eyes almost bleed? Try getting a computer to type that fucked up. It was more difficult to TRY to BE that stupid than it should have right to be. That was a mash up of all the shenanigans I have observed over the last two months. Yes, that's all I could take away from this person, that's pretty deep right?

After months of CrapBook creepin', I couldn't handle it anymore. I HAD to respond and correct her stupid somehow.


That's it. I figured the subtle assholery indicated in that simple jab would only be amusing to me. Apparently I was wrong.

who cares how she spelt do you have nothing better to do than be stupid

Was the out of nowhere wind up from the maybe father. By the way, to be a little more clear since I was paraphrasing her posts up yonder, I commented on a post about applying for a fucking JOB.

Um, do you honestly feel the need to attack anyone who says anything to *****? Grow up, act like an adult, And try not to get your panties in a twist over typo correction. And FYI, spelling DOES matter in work environment, if a potential employer were to look at an application and see incorrect spelling, they would never consider you. But keep getting all pissy about stupid shit, you'll go far.

To which I received no response.

I legitimately want her to learn how to fucking spell. If I were looking to hire someone and I saw this shit on an application...

im so excited for this opurtunity! i hope to be heering from you sometime soon to fallow up with me.

I'd throw that shit away. After wiping my ass with it after mowing through some Popeye's...

Now, it's ok to be young and dumb, we've all been there. But there has to be a point when life gets SO shitty that you finally get it.

No, it's not your families responsibility to take care of you, your boyfriend, and your possibly illegitimate child!!! They do not need to fucking take care of you because you can't fucking spell follow long enough to get a fucking job.

Would I have been ready at 17? FUUUUCK NO.

Would I have been ready at 19? HELL NO, I was just warming up.

Would I have been ready at 22? Not really, but guess what that's when I had my baby and I had to be ready.

Girl's that have had children at 17 or earlier and succeeded, hats off to you ladies. I know you are actually out there like beautiful white unicorns glittering in the sunset, so take no offense if you are quality people.

But if you are fucking vindictive and feel entitlement to have other people take care of you because 'they have more money than you'... Oh god, that's the Welfare Mom motto. Secretly.
Welfare Mom.

Why can't people be smarter? It's exhausting having to be smart enough to make up the difference... I can't even continue, I just made myself sad.

No comments:

Post a Comment